How is everyone’s summa, summa, summaaa timeeee (Goddd, I love Will Smith’s greatest hits)!? You can click below as you read to get in the mood, like moi!
Ok let’s get real. What are three words you think of when you hear the word, “summer”? Go! Boys, beach, drunk, right? Omg, that’s mine too! Well, duh, because you’re my BFF and we finish each other’s sentences. Oh, and let’s not disregard the fact that we get to walk around like the older version of our little slut selves in mini denim cut offs and tight bodysuits. Mmm Hmm. (That was totally one of my last Instagram photos. Hashtag sorry not sorry).
Maybe I am completely crazy, but the first vision I get in my head when hearing the word “beach” is getting a beach ball thrown at my head. This has happened to me before, and it’s more embarrassing than crotch sweat leaking through your leggings at the gym. I am that girl who is sitting pretty, chugging rosé from my “secret” bottle of Snapple, and then “bam a fucking bullet rips off part of your head”! Sorry, it just felt so natural to have a My Cousin Vinny moment right there! As I was saying, then bam! A beach ball just comes out from Madison Avenue, knocks you out while you’re still looking damn good in your “no makeup/makeup beach look”, and now your face is bright red as you’re shadily licking your arms (sand) to salvage whatever is left of your rosé. It is not a pretty scene, but the beach is so thank god you’re on it.
What comes out of this encounter? Here’s my imagined scenario:
“Uggghhhh, are you serious, dude (motioning of hands like you’re annoyed and fixing your sunnies)!? THAT was annoying. Ugh, he is coming over. He is here. Ugh, whyyyy!?!? Heyy, no worries, all good, but I’m all wet and my friends are all sandy. No I don’t want to go swimming, no I don’t want to play paddle board…rosé did you say? Refill? Sure. Um (batting lashes and playing with hair), can my friends have some too? He’s kinda cute (friends motioning if he has friends). Later? We’re on the fence, you? Lie. Surf Lodge. OMG, we were all supposed to do that too, let’s meet up. Change resi from Rusch to Surf. Party time with the boys.
“Ugh, I don’t want him to leave. I want to play paddle board and swim and get balls thrown at my head (BEACH BALLS!). I want to change dinner reservations and make sure my phone is charged every minute throughout the day until he writes me, like an hour after he leaves the house. He is cute, right? Like, so cute. Mom, I met a guy that threw a ball at my head, and it may or may not have been on purpose, but he filled my cup with rosé after and now we’re in love.”
Like, how accurate?
There is a point to this story, I swear. Ladies, OPEN UP THIS LAST MONTH OF SUMMER TO NEW THINGS, MEN, ADVENTURES, AND LOVE! You really don’t ever know which awkward or funny situation can lead you to in the direction of wonderful escapades. Just be the one-of-a-kind woman you are while embracing newness, living life, and your self confidence.
And in the end, isn’t life just a beach? You need to drink it up. If the right ball comes across your face, wouldn’t it all be worth it?