Firstly, I want to express how excited I am to write about this topic, not only for women (because duh, I always have your back), but for the MEN! Guys, you have to hear me out and let me help you. I AM ON YOUR SIDE AND WANT YOU TO GET THE GIRL. Shall we begin?
When you are single and Fall arrives in NYC, it just does something to you. You can find yourself making out on a park bench, ordering pumpkin spice lattes at Starbucks (which is so weird because you hate anything pumpkin), kissing on street corners, and even picking up a leaf from the street so perfectly colored that you’ll later post it to instagram, in hopes of breaking 100 likes. But wait, did you really pick up a leaf? Really strange. Aside from these things that make us feel nostalgic and romanticized, there is an entirely new game in the dating scene. We. Are. Back.
Men and women galavant around with their friends, meet singles who are newly on the market, and open the lines of communication with texting and dare I say it, maybe a A PHONE CALL? Can you imagine? Well, yes, I can, but that got me thinking that most guys don’t call anymore (only the real gents do), and that got me frustrated and really sad. Saddies. Now that there is so much social media, other ways of communication through dating apps, and everyone is just too darn busy to pick up the phone, is chivalry infinitely dead? Sigh.
A hopeless romantic, I refuse to believe this nonsense and am stepping in for ma girls…and ma guys! Over countless “dirty martini induced” conversations, dancing nights out on the town to blow off steam, stealing my guy and girlfriends phones to read their conversations, and discussing this with my bikini waxer, this is my personal master list. Men, you might think we are difficult (who am I kidding? We are!), but the way to our heart is quite simple and easy. To be clear guys, if you read the the first paragraph again, just know that I’m trusting you to do the right thing since I am doing right by you. You’re welcome and I’ll send you an invoice later.
A phone call. Call and ask her out on a first date. Nothing and I mean NOTHING is more appreciated than a phone call!! Ring, ring. Hello? DO. YOU. HEAR. ME? No one is ever too busy to make a two minute call to someone they like and are interested in. Anytime a guy calls a girl, she instantly feels special since you took the time out of your day to hear her voice. She then runs to tell her friends and the friends WILL say, “Wow! I like him already!” Yes, this could be you. You instantly score major points on both ends and you’ll make her day that much better. You’ll both even be more comfortable when you actually see each other in person, having already spoken and had some good back and forth (hopefully you have a good personality because I can’t help you there).
Make a plan. And PLAN AHEAD. Guys. Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. WOW. Why is this an issue with you? We are not the type of girls who just aren’t busy. We respect your busy schedules so you need to respect ours. With that being said, please make a plan, and in advance, with her. Pick out the restaurant and what time the reservation is and let her know the latest by the morning/early afternoon the day of the date. Yes, I underlined that. Muy importante. She has to pick out her outfit and google the menu. This has been a a topic of conversation a scary amount of times so I really hope you guys can change it up and try it out. You will get respect all around and an added bonus is that the both of you will have something exciting to look forward to all week. Score.
Make a nice gesture. The timing of a gesture is purely based on who you are as a person and how romantic you are/choose to be. In my life, I have received everything from flowers to candy on a first date and loved every second of it, but if I didn’t receive anything on a first date that was fine too. There is plenty of time after that to sweep us off our feet. So, to be clear, if you are “feeling” the first date gesture thing, do it. She will be super touched and you will stand out from the rest of the guys (if she is casually dating other suitors). But if not, no worries! Small gestures like sweet, flirty text messages telling her you are thinking of her or sending flowers to her apartment after a couple of dates is beyond appreciated. Here is a story for you. Many years ago, I went on a date with a guy who I wasn’t connecting with on a physical level but emotionally, I really enjoyed his company and our conversation. During one of our dates, I mentioned in passing that I really loved these specific, freshly made cookies that had a shop in the West Village. Two days later, a box of those exact cookies showed up at my door with a note that read, “something for your sweet tooth.” He listened. This instantly guaranteed him another date because (a) it was romantic, clever, and HE LISTENED and (b) the fact that he took the time out of his day to make me smile meant everything to me. Although we didn’t end up being a match in the end, I ate every cookie and still smile when telling that story today. Need I say more?
Be consistent. Nothing makes her more annoyed then waiting two weeks since your first date to hear from you. UN-ACCEPT-ABLE. If you had a good time and you are sure she did too, then there is no reason you should wait longer then two/three days MAX to say hello again. The chase is fun and some flirtatious games are fun, but If you want her, let it show and don’t be shy. Confidence and going after what you want is a sexy quality that we can’t get enough of.
Be honest. If you aren’t feeling a connection after a couple dates, let her know! She is a big girl, can take it, and will appreciate the honesty. So many men can’t man up to this and just disappear but that is so not okay. If you were man enough to ask us out, you are surely man enough to break it off.
GIRLS and GUYS, I am only one click away so let me know if you have any questions or feedback on the article! I would love to hear from you. Just click CONTACT LINDSI at the top header.
Ciao, for now. xoL